I know, this is a food blog. However, due to a recent so-called riot on campus due to the death of Osama Bin Laden, I feel compelled to tell you folks about my life outside the kitchen.
The UMass dorms are split between several areas on campus. There is the North apartment area, Sylvan, Northeast, Orchard Hill, Central, and Southwest. I live in the last one. Each area has its own character and style, which is nice. However, that also means that each area has a bit of a reputation. For instance, since the Northeast area is located near the science buildings, it's known for housing the engineering majors. Central has a lot of brick buildings and grassy areas that make you want to sit under a tree and read a book for hours. Southwest, however, has more of a cityscape. There are five "tower" dorms and several "low rise" buildings surrounded by asphalt and gravel with sparse sprinklings of trees.
The reason I live in this area is because I signed up for a particular program which had us live in Southwest. I could have moved for the second semester, but I thought I could tough it out. Even if I hadn't been placed in the program, I still would have been intrigued by the layout. Being a girl from a cow town in northern Massachusetts, living in something that resembles a city seemed exciting. Now I don't want to live here ever again. The reasons?
10. Ice Cream
You can't walk 10 feet without seeing a dark stain of ice cream on the ground. This is due to the fact that one of the dining commons has a soft serve ice cream machine, and it's handy if you want your dessert on the go. I would be fine if the majority of these stains were from spillage accidents (the prime fear of our youth), however the shattered remains of the cones and the fact that the stains appear on walls is a sign that people are throwing them. Why? Who wastes ice cream? Besides, it's not bad enough that it's all over the ground outside. Oh no, today there was ice cream and cone remains in the stairwell of my building. Again, who throws ice cream? And for what reason?
9. Skateboarders.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know I was walking straight through your own personal skate park. No, let me stand here while you try and jump over an imaginary obstacle. It's not like I have a class or anything to go to. You know what, I could go around too but this is the ONLY WAY THROUGH THIS PART OF SOUTHWEST! Yeah, so you try and jump that imaginary trash can. I'll just be standing here.
8. It sucks(and blows)
With the campus being in a valley, we have a lot of wind troubles. There are times when you walk past the library on a windy day and you have trouble standing upright. I've even heard of migrating geese avoiding that particular patch of sky because it's like flying into a wall. Sorry geese.
Since I live in one of the towers, the wind blows pretty mightily. You can hear the annoying whistle and whoosh outside sometimes, but the worst is when a window is open. If you live the door open too, the wind sneaks into the window and slams the door for you. It wasn't a problem during the winter, but once it warmed up you could hear the familiar "ker-SLAM!" all the way from the other side of the building. Similarly, if the wind is really strong you have to force open the door just to get into your room.
7. Stoop Culture
This isn't a complaint about Southwest itself, so much as a complaint about my particular building. You see, my building has a set of concrete stairs which lead up to the front door. Out of a natural instinct to convene, people go out there to smoke and generally hang out. During the daylight hours they normally stick to the sides of the stairs, sitting on the little wall partitions on either side. However, as it gets later they start sitting in the middle of the stairs and blocking the way to the door. There have been times when I've seriously considered hitting people with my bag to get them to move. Or, what's even worse is when it's raining outside and a small group gathers in the overhang near the door. However, this is right in front of the card reader which is the ONLY WAY TO ENTER THE BUILDING. Yeah, I've narrowly missed touching various asses in my efforts to get back to my room. So far no one has sustained backpack injuries.
Also, they get really loud, or so I've heard. I don't live "stoop side".
6. The crowds in Berkshire DC
The Berkshire Dining Commons is one of the more popular eateries on campus (maybe because of the throwable ice cream). This, coupled with the fact that is in the residence area with about 5,000 students means it's packed at eating times. Maybe it's my own fault for eating at the same hours as everyone else. My schedule allows for me to eat an earlier dinner if I wish, but I'm used to between 5:30 and 6. Apparently so is everyone else. Finding a seat is difficult, and then the layout means that there are lines of people getting food that project right into the line of traffic. However, the worst thing is that people walk very slowly. I understand not wanting to rush with a plate full of fries and that skirting the crowds is hard, however that doesn't mean that you can travel at the speed of a narcoleptic snail on a turtle with a limp. You might as well stand still and become part of the Asian food display.
The worst part is when people slow down and talk near the doors. The way the DC is set up, there is a room where you deposit your dishes to get them washed, and then their is a door that leads out into the main entrance area. People tend to halt at this doorway to talk about who knows what, however since it is basically the ONLY WAY OUT, a bottleneck is formed. And then I feel the urge to swing my backpack. Notice a theme in Southwest? Bottlenecks.
5. The smell
As you reach your floor, you smell a distinctive scent. You run through the possibilities in your mind. Well, there's no way a skunk could have made it through the doors and climbed up the eight flights to your floor, and it's near impossible that the little guy could have pushed the elevator button...And then you check the time. Oh, 3 PM. It must be pot.
4. The construction
Right now Southwest is going under some renovations to bring it into the 21st century. Some of these marvels include putting a brick pattern on the walkways, adding more green things, more trash bin areas, and wireless internet. In that order. Most of the renovations can't be done with the students around, so that's why the computers are shackled with Ethernet cables. This didn't take too long to get used to, but most of my peers complain that the construction wakes them up at 9 in the morning. Oh the horror.
My main issue with it is, you guessed it, the bottlenecking. For a while, the middle portion of the main path in the area was fenced off in order to put in that precious brick pattern which is now smattered with ice cream guts. This meant that I couldn't take my usual route and had to chart a different course to the center of campus. It didn't take me any longer to get there, but I hate breaking up a perfectly fine routine
3. Tech-No more music. Please.
For some reason the only music people prefer in the floors above and below me is techno or hip-hop. However, because of the concrete walls only the bass beat penetrates into my room. It doesn't make it any less annoying, especially when you are trying to get to sleep. I know that it's college and that people are going to party, however at least in Central it's Led Zepplin. I'd rather fall asleep to "Kashmir" than the constant "BOOMF. Boomf-boomf" from the floor above me.
2. Piano Man
At 3 AM. The night before my 8 AM math final. Sung very poorly by drunken football players. The same goes for "Don't Stop Believin'".
1. The reputation
UMass has a bit of an inexplicable reputation as "ZooMass". Yeah, crazy stuff went down in the past but now we don't even make the list of top 20 party schools in the country. Maybe we're trying to look badass. Anyways, out of all the areas, Southwest has the reputation for being where the parties are. If you tell people you live in Southwest, they nod and smile knowingly. Or when you tell them that you were required to live their for a program, they start to pity you.
Simply by living in Southwest, people assume that I party. I've heard advice like "once you move out, you just keep going back!". Well, no. It's as if people can't tell by looking at me that I'm the shy bookish type. Even my parent's friends all laugh when I say that I'm in Southwest because they've heard stories either from their kids or their own wild exploits.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate every portion of Southwest. I like how you can see the hills from the windows or that you can see all the way across campus if you live on a high enough floor. I like the unusual layout of the rooms and the fact that there are more than 2 shower stalls per bathroom. When it's quiet, Berkshire DC can be a cool place to eat with a lot of interesting options. Of course, there's Yen the lady at the card-swiping station who always puts a smile on my face. She made it into my roommate's list of 75 favorite things, so she deserves a spot on my blog dammit! I'll also miss the guy who works at the pizza station who knows me as the girl who always has a book in her hand. However, the small doses of awesome cannot outweigh the large doses of fail. I can't wait to live in Central next year with all my fellow bookish types.
(image from here)
By the way, in the video of my roommate's favorite things, that little stud of a fig tree behind her is Cal. He's waving hello.
This was cathartic to read. And I also like pizza man.
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